What's the return? Chase offers $200 for a new savings account

JPMorgan Chase Bank sent me a promotional offer in the mail this week:

Enjoy $200 on us with a new savings account

Sounds nice doesn't it?  Let's check the fine print:

Open a Chase Savings account, deposit a total of $15,000 or more in new money within 10 business days, and maintain a $15,000 balance for 90 days.

So they want to hold onto $15,000 of your money for 3 months, and they'll give you a $200 bonus.  That works out to a 1.33% return after 3 months.  Hold the phone, you say?  What about the interest they pay on the savings account?  At the time of this writing, that happens to be 0.01%.

I finally realized how insurance companies make money

Where I live, state law requires car drivers to have, at a minimum, liability insurance. This means that the insurance company will handle paying for damages you cause (up to a certain amount, exclusions apply, etc) if you cause an accident.

One night while turning through an intersection, the car next to me crossed the line and grazed the side of my car. I thought it was pretty obvious whose fault it was, and continued through the intersection to pull over by the sidewalk.  There were no witnesses. We exchanged information and went our separate ways. My insurance company talks with me and I tell them how the other driver grazed the side of my car.  The other guys' insurance company calls me up and tells me I was at fault. Net result? My insurance company and his insurance company both just deny each others' claim.

How Macy's avoids responsibility for damage during delivery

The Macy's delivery man, while removing the large, empty cardboard boxes, accidentally knocks a heavy mirror frame off the wall, which drops and makes a dent in the wood flooring, but we don't notice it till later.  On the way out, he has us sign a form which I thought just indicated delivery, but includes text saying there were no damages.  Because of this signature they disclaim liability for any damages.